i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
