Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
MIDGETS
????
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
