yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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