she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
