my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
