Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
