therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
