So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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