I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
