I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
