can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
