Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I won't apologize to a one balled man
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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