So drunk its hurt
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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