i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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