I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
