But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He felt like a one man threesome
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
