JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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