i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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