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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You fucking left with him didn't you?!

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed

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• (+26): View more from

  And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening

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• (671): View more from Guam

  You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?

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• (772): View more from Florida

  I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town

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