i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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