I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
