is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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