He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
