i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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