If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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