It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
