Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
