You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
