Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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