Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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