I am puke
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
