Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
