it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
