Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
