Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
