dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
