i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
