My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
