Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
