so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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