I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
