WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
