Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
