I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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