i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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