who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
