Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize
