you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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