I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
