Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
